It's the point when they see that you get it It's a subtle dance It's something that's happening just under the radar It's almost imperceptible You aren't taking the bait as much You aren't letting the gaslighting get to you as much You're gray rocking a little more You're not defending You're not explaining You may even be holding yourself a tiny bit taller because now you get it Maybe you aren't putting yourself down as much or getting as anxious when they say they will cut bait and leave or maybe we need to get a divorce or when they throw their passive aggressive stuff at you Interestingly at this phase of the relationship it becomes even more miserable and the narcissistic person will act out even more It's as though you have peered into their insecurity and figured out their game and they don't like that When people start to gray rock you can almost graph it It looks like a roller coaster The narcissist's rage will increase for a while They aren't getting the same fights out of you The bait isn't working Remember They need you to take the bait and behave in an unhinged way so then they can say ooh somebody's all worked up and they can feel better about themselves