South Park: Season 15, Episode 1
HUMANCENTiPAD (27 April 2011)
[Best Buy, day. Cartman runs in with glee as his mom lags behind.]
Cartman: Okay, WiFi+3G, 64 gigs. This one, this one!
Liane: Oh, sweetie, $900?
Cartman: I can't wait to see the look on Kyle's stupid face when he sees my iPad has more memory than his!
Liane: Eric, we can't afford that one.
Cartman: Well you don't expect me to get the WiFi-only 16-gig version, do you?
Liane: I think we need to get you a different brand, hon. They're a little cheaper.
Cartman: Mom, everyone knows that everything but Apple is stupid!
Liane: Here, look at this one. A Toshiba Handibook.
Cartman: Toshiba Handibook??
Liane: This says it does everything the iPad does, at half the price.
Cartman: Mom, do not screw me over again! If I take that thing to school, everyone is gonna think I'm a poverty-stricken asshole!
Liane: Eric, stop acting like a spoiled brat! You can either have the Toshiba Handibook or you can have nothing at all!
Cartman: Oh, I've got a better idea! Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms?! Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna fuck me, Mom!
Liane: Eric!
Cartman: You might as well go buy some cigarettes too, because I like to have a smoke after I get good and fucked! Do you wanna fuck me Mom?! Just say so! Go ahead! Here! Huh?! Go ahead, Mom! Fuck me! Fuck me right here in the Best Buy! You wanna fuck your son so bad?! Go on Mom! Fuck me! Fuck me!
Liane: Stop crying, Eric! I told you if you kept acting up, you weren't getting anything!
Cartman: But I told you I was sorry.
Liane: You made me look like some sort of child molester in front of all those people!
Cartman: I wasn't trying to get you in trouble.
Liane: Then why did you go outside to a police officer and say "Help! Help! My mommy is trying to fuck me!"?
Cartman: Oh wait, I get it now! The F-word is a no-no word, and I shouldn't say it around other people. I'm sorry Momma.
Liane: If you're really sorry, then you'll understand why you aren't getting anything!
Cartman: Well, now that doesn't really have any logical sense, Mommy, because I'm already being punished by not getting the iPad. Mama. Please, can we just go back and get the Toshiba Handibook?
Liane: No!
Cartman: Well then can we at least pull up here and get some dinner? 'Cause I like to be wined and dined after I've been FUCKED!

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