They Took Our Jobs! - SOUTH PARK
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 Published On Mar 24, 2021

While scientists take delight in studying the future people, Americans all over the country are upset that hordes of them are arriving to take their jobs for less pay.
"Goobacks" S08

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INT. CNN NEWSROOM - DAY
AARON BROWN
Still more immigrants from the future arrived at the time border today. Some even bringing their entire families. The purplish goo that they have on their bodies when they arrive is an ecto-plasmic side effect of the time travel process. This is all giving scientists a great opportunity to learn even more about American life in the future. Chris Hall joins us now, Chris?
INT. CNN NEWSROOM - DAY (MOVED)
A male reporter sits behind a different desk in the CNN newsroom.
REPORTER 4
Yes there are Incredible things we're learning about Americans in the future, Aaron. It appears that in the future, Americans have evolved into a hairless, uniform, MIX OF ALL RACES - They are all one color which is a yellowy light brownish whitish color. It seems race is no longer an issue in the future because all ethnicities have mixed into one. Perhaps most interesting is how this has affected their language. The people in the future speak a complete mix of English, Chinese, Turkish and indeed ALL world languages, which sounds something like this: Grawask awkawk kawwkwak. Back to you, Aaron.
INT. CNN NEWSROOM
Back to Aaron's desk.
AARON BROWN
Apparently the people from the future are having a pretty easy time finding work. Since they offer to work for such low wages, they're being hired all over America.
INT. LARGE MEETING HALL - DAY
A packed house of about a hundred rednecks and white trash have gathered just like in 'Gung Ho'. The rednecks are divided into groups of work type, there's a grouping of gas station rednecks, trucker rednecks, construction worker rednecks, fast food rednecks, moving rednecks, etc. A new redneck stands at the podium as all the angry rednecks show and yell in anger.
REDNECKS
(angry shouting and talking)
The boys are sitting in the middle of the crowd, looking around as the head guy at the podium speaks.
REDNECK
Alright folks, my name is Daryl Weathers And I'm with the construction workers union. I work with a lot of fine men who have families to feed. I don't know about y'all, but WE worked long and hard to get our pay up to a level where we could make a decent living. And NOW, these people from the future are showing up and offering to do the same work for next to nothing! THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!
REDNECKS
YEAH!/THAT'S RIGHT!/THEY DID!/etc.
REDNECK 3
(standing up in the middle of the crowd)
WE'RE in the moving business. Fourteen years we been working our butts off. Now these future folk come in and we can't get work nowhere! THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!
REDNECKS
THEY TOOK THEIR JOBS!/THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!/etc.
FAST FOOD REDENCK
(standing)
What about us in the fast food business? The restaurants are firing us because the future people work for a lot less. THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!!!
REDNECKS
THEY TOOK THEIR JOBS!/THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!/etc.
STAN
(standing up)
It's affecting kids too! Me and my friends started our own snow shoveling business. We were trying to be responsible and make money, you know? But then the people from the future came along, and now WE'RE out of work too!
Stan waits for a big response but there is none. Everyone just stares at him.
Stan looks around... and then finally gets it.
STAN (CONT'D)
Oh - THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!
REDNECKS
THEY TOOK THEIR JOBS!/THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!/etc.
EXT. PORTAL AREA - NIGHT
It's the same old highway shot as before, except that NOW, there is one of those yellow warning signs like the ones for Mexicans in San Diego.
THAT sign starts shaking and electricity flies all around.
The portal- it is FILLING UP with people from the future.
It's like that shot in Close Encounters - where there's just a big light and dozens and dozens of silhouettes of the aliens.
The immigrants from the future, young and old... are arriving in droves.

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