A young woman does The Work at the New Year’s Mental Cleanse in Los Angeles. She is stuck on the belief “I need a partner to be happy.” With Byron Katie's help, she questions this belief and the many thoughts and images of past and future that support it.

“How do you react when you believe the thought ‘I need a partner’ and you’re around men?” Katie asks.

“There’s a desperation,” the woman says, “and I can’t see people in the moment. I concoct stories about attractive men.”

A bit later Katie says, “Turn it around. 'I don’t need a partner.' Examples? “

“I don’t need a partner, so I can learn to be with my thoughts in peace,” says the woman. “So I can do puzzles by myself.”

An audience member says, “They may not like cats.”

“That’s a huge one for me,” the woman laughs.

“You can grow with or without someone," Katie adds, “and when you're comfortable in yourself, the partner will come, or not. Be the person you love living with the most. For me it’s the joy of being with Stephen or without Stephen. One is equally as divine as the other. You are the beloved. You’re the one you want. You’re the one you need. You’re the one who is always there for you.”

When you’re not in touch with yourself, it’s a lonely world, with or without a partner. —Byron Katie

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