Asha Elijah (aka Asha & Asher Quinn) sings 'The end of the affair' from his album "Love is Change". CD/download later.

There are some extraordinary, supernatural things about this song. It came into my consciousness recently, when I finally felt able to accept the end of an intense, multi-layered, muse relationship that during its course, had profoundly changed my life. In this YouTube my genius musical colleague Eli plays the role of my muse as an actress.

This connection lasted 16 years and 11 months; 7 years of loving togetherness, 2 years of transition when the woman in question felt she had to withdraw, followed by over 7 years (continuing) of a hostility towards me that I don't fully understand.

For myself, both the love and the loss has helped me to expand my consciousness.

It was primarily a deeply soulful connection, but as such it had many layers; tangles; projections & misunderstandings. And when I say "able to accept the end," I mean that literally. The spiritual power to accept the unacceptable eventually came from beyond my ordinary ego.

Then, it became clear that there was a karmic necessity being played out between us, that we struggled to honour in the right way. It had the power of a supernatural spell.

All during this time I was married; she not. She wanted a husband and I wasn't looking for anything beyond my marriage. And yet underneath all the mysterious veils were past life threads; disciple of Christ threads; co-creation threads; ancient, alchemical threads; healing & twin-flame threads; so many different threads.

We were of different ages, cultures and nationalities. Of the many difficulties, those logistical issues could not be ignored.

She was my muse; sister; daughter; mother; employee; anima; guide; inquisitioner; executioner; terrorist; soldier; demon; angel & fellow pilgrim.

And I was her brother; saviour; boss; child; father; provider; sin; Judas; liberator; imprisoner; refugee & freedom fighter.

The tangles were how understandable egoic needs and attachments contrasted with the true meaning of the karma between us. We were not meant to become attached to each other co-dependently, but rather to be wise enough to go together towards God as lovers of spirit, rather than tethered to each other.

The deal in heaven as it were, before we incarnated, was to find each other, love each other and then lose each other in order to know how to transcend transience & find God. It was the ultimate higher love task, to somehow betray each other through misunderstanding, so sacrificing the earthly love for higher love.

Every thread had to be carefully first sewn, and then unpicked, not by choice but by necessity. Every single cactus needle in the heart had to be extracted.

This Easter as I walked with Jesus to Golgotha in my imagination, I finally grasped the full meaning of the sacrifice that was necessary. Not even to let HER go (I never 'had' her), but to let my attachment to her go, and accept the crucifixion; the 'death', without even fully understanding it.

It hit me terminally, and I descended to hell in my mortal soul. But then there came a resurrection; a liberation.

Some days later this song, words and music, arrived in my liberated soul, and therein lies another supernatural event. I did not dream up a single word myself; it all came, even in rhyming poetry, like a dictation. I simply transcribed it, and faithfully accepted every couplet without challenging it.

One of the lines is: "Lunar clouds, cosmic love & Saharan dust" and, when filming for this song, exactly as I sang "Saharan dust" on an exceptionally, unnaturally hot (30 degrees) calm, early April day in a Hungarian field, a dust storm blew up out of nothing. It was like an invisible black stallion galloping by, strong enough to blow both my guitar & camera over. And then it was gone.

It was captured on camera and is in the film. Another supernatural moment.

10 years ago before we split, a friend wanted us to see this film: "The End of the Affair," with Ralph Fiennes & Julianne Moore, based on Graham Greene's 1951 novel set in WWII.

It's about a love-tangle with a higher moral. Maurice falls in love with Sarah who is married, and they enter into an affair. Then, a bomb hits where they met, and Sarah believes Maurice has been killed.

She prays to God that she will end the affair if he is spared, and at that moment injured Maurice appears. She keeps her vow to God, and he never understands why she ended it. He starts to hate her.

Then she falls terminally ill and dies. After her death he reads her journal and learns of her pact with God. He was an atheist. Sarah, it transpires, a lover of God, had once made an ugly birthmark on a child disappear by kissing it. He turns his hatred of Sarah towards God, but in that moment, in order to DO that, he realises that he believes.

This song is both to heal my heart, and to serve God by accepting in good grace what I don't fully understand.