So, this is the real story behind my new health/fitness journey.
Making this video was unbelievably emotional for me. It caused me to have to revisit a really dark, really bad place in my life where I almost didn't survive..No one understands how truly close I was to ending everything. I felt I had nothing to live for anymore. Looking in the mirror made me want to die...you may look at me and not understand how I could possibly feel this way..but you aren’t me. You don’t live in my head, and you certainly aren’t judged the way I am judged merely for existing. So yes, this was a very emotional video for me to make because I never talk about my debilitating anxiety, or my crippling depression that comes with daily suicidal ideations. I pulled myself out of the deepest, darkest times..because I didn’t have a choice, and there was no one there to grab my hand. That’s why I felt it necessary to try to explain this a little bit to you all. Maybe someone out there will understand just a little bit..& maybe it will help them too. -Niyk

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