London mayoral candidate Count Binface says he would rename London Bridge, make Thames Water bosses “take a dip” in the river and claims he has never heard of his Tory opponent Susan Hall.

The self-described intergalactic space warrior, who says he is 5,072 years old in Earth years, is running to be London mayor on May 2 and says he has not ruled out standing against Rishi Sunak at the general election.

Speaking outside Parliament, the Count outlined his flagship policies for the capital including renaming London Bridge after Phoebe Waller-Bridge, price capping croissants at £1.10, and granting grade one listed status to Claudia Winkleman’s fringe.

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