Kyle tries to report the teacher/student affair to the police, but when they find out which teacher is involved, all they can say is, "Nice."
"Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" S10

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#SouthPark #SouthParkS10

INT. POLICE STATION -- DAY
Several policemen and Detective Harris are sitting around a
large table eating Chinese Food. Kyle nervously walks in.
COP #2
You're so Full of crap, Foley.
COP #1
What?! I DID shoot him in the face.
TWICE...
Kyle nervously walks in.
KYLE
Excuse me...
The cops all keep eating, but look at Kyle.
KYLE
My name is... BRAD. And... I need
to report a crime. ANONYMOUSLY.
DETECTIVE HARRIS
(eating Chinese)
Oh? What's the crime.
KYLE
Well, I attend South Park
Elementary... And... One of the
teachers is having sex with a
student.
The cops all look at each other and then immediately jump
to action, ready to take statements and gather around Kyle
to comfort him.
COPS
OH MY GOD! /THIS IS TERRIBLE! /
GET A NAME! /It's okay, son, Etc.
The cops kind of surround Kyle, making him feel
comfortable.
DETECTIVE HARRIS
You did the right thing telling the
police, Brad. Now, who is the
teacher -what's his name?
KYLE
Well, it isn't a GUY teacher it's a

woman.
COP #1
A woman?
KYLE
Yeah. She's having sex with a boy.
The cops all look at each other.
COP #3
Oh. But she's ugly, right?
KYLE
Wul, no, not really. It's the
kindergarten teacher, Miss
Stephenson.
DETECTIVE HARRIS
The blonde?
KYLE
Yeah.
COP #1
Some young boy is having sex with
Miss Stephenson?
KYLE
Yes.
COP #1
NICE.
DETECTIVE HARRIS
Nice...
KYLE
What?! No, you don't understand-
COP #3
You sure they've had sex?
KYLE
Yeah.
COP #2
Has she performed oral sex on him?

KYLE
I think so.
COP #2
NICE.
COP #1
Nice.
COP #3
Nice...
DETECTIVE HARRIS
So, wait... What's the crime?
COP #3
The crime is she isn't doing it with
me.
COPS
(laughing)
KYLE
HEY! He's totally underage! She's
taking advantage of him!
DETECTIVE HARRIS
You're right, we're sorry, this IS
serious. We need to track this
student down and - give him his
luckiest boy in America Medal right
away!
COPS
(laughing super
hard)
Kyle leaves in a huff.
KYLE
RAHGHGHGGH!!!